My Sacred Life day 19...
Today sees the return of my daily muse...Orangina is the muse of orderly rule. I am feeling absolutely separate from orderly rule. Everything seems to be in a state of flux right now. My life, my career, my health, my art, my home, my dreams, my spirit... Nothing appears really stable. I feel on a precipice, hanging on, but just barely. I long for that feeling of safe ordinariness that flows from balance.
I am desperately searching for a way to reinvent myself into an artist of smalls. What are smalls? Anything smaller than 6' X 6'! A muralist who can no longer climb scaffolding is a muralist without a means of support - literally, figuratively, and financially!!! It is a scary place to be.
I have managed to keep myself afloat by teaching, editing an industry magazine, writing for publications, and doing some graphic design work. But I long to be painting again and supporting myself with my art. That is where the smalls come in. I had a talk with Michael deMeng a few months ago about the fear I am feeling putting my smalls out there. It feels like I am putting one of my children out into the world. Putting my art out there before I left for Philadelphia was a big step for me - a coming out of sorts.
Next, I have to prepare for my first gallery installation, November 1. I am excited, but terrified at the same time. I need for my small artworks to sustain me and that places an urgency for creation that can sometimes stifle creativity. I do not know how to proceed. I have no idea if anyone will buy it. I am gently searching for a mentor who can lead me through the maze or, at least, give me a good shove in the right direction. I have to begin selling my art now.
The blogging community has been extremely supportive, encouraging me. I have felt very safe in sharing here. The response to my ball gown was overwhelming to me. Perhaps I do have a visual voice that speaks to others.
Today's aMUSEment - Are you having trouble putting your creations out into the world? We must find a safe and supportive venue in which to do that. If you do not already have one, consider starting a blog to put your work into the public. It is fairly simple to begin blogging. Blogger.com is free. Or create something to enter into Illustration Friday, Poetry Thursday, 3 Word Wednesday, Self Portrait Tuesday, Sunday Scribblings, etc. I am sure there are others that I have not found as yet. Get your stuff out there!!! I will take the journey with you.U Be Creative Today!
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7 comments:
You are not alone in your thoughts and fears. We all feel that way, artistic types that is. I know that I have to put everything out of my head, and just breathe. Not always so easy. Just do it, jump and create from your heart and all will be fine. I know it will. You are so brave for sharing thoughts we all have. You are a treasure. xxo
Dear Rebecca,
You are on the right path for you! It's all about the journey. Your smalls will win you what you need, and if not the smalls, there will be another opportunity presenting itself. Somehow we have always gotten by you and me. ;-)
xox
Constance
oh my! I definately needed to read this today!
I am excited you are breaking new ground & getting out there presenting your work! It definately takes courage to do that, and you will be one step closer to your goals~
~Bella
p.s. I love the way you write~
All shall be well!
Do your smalls joyfully!
Oh, even just that simple blog yesterday was hard for me. Putting myself out there is not one of my strong areas! "Without God I'm a ball of fear"... But, I'm learning to trust Him. Blessings.. Polly
don't worry that much rebecca!! have fun, relax and present your work as you are. it's like constance already mentiond... if it doesn't work move on to the next stage. learn without fear!!! challenging adventures are waiting ahead ;)) embrace them!
Last year I spent a year doing 6x6's and found them to be a lot of fun. I was surprised. I too realized I cannot continually do murals when I'm 80 :-) and interestingly enough, I've been doing more furniture and tiles and smaller murals, so you can still do them, maybe just not so big. Be open to what life brings into your life. It's always hard to put yourself out there for the first time with anything.
Furniture painting is pretty big righ now...
Doreen
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