reflective...

 "Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards." -- Vernon Sanders Law, 1960 Cy Young Award Winner

As we move headlong into a new decade...I have taken time to reflect about the past decade, the circumstances of my journey, and the enormous blessings that have been given to me...I share today with an open heart filled with joy as this has been time of growing into the ME I was Born to be!!! (see the previous post also)

Wow...oh wow is all I can say about the first weeks of 2010!!! I was up early this morning to receive...and I did!

What stood out above all for me at this time of my journey is:

• You can come to understand your purpose in life by slowing down, feeling your heart’s desires, and demanding to know.

During this past 20 months, God forced me to slow down by removing ALL obstacles (a job and income) and presenting me with TIME! Time to reflect. Time to mourn. Time to refresh. Time to repurpose. Time to realign. Time to reframe. Time to release. During this gift of time, I found #1-ME and #2-crystal clarity of purpose and #3-this is the time for me to soar...

"To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders" - Chuang Tzu

It has been a Two Year Retreat, mostly silent. You have followed my story here and on my other blog, Down, But Not Out (Living Beneath No Means). I had no choice but to reconnect with myself…find strength to look at what brought me to this place, find fortitude to survive, find courage to move forward, find hope to rebuild, find bits of my soul that had been scattered about the universe over the years and bring them home.

And by walking and stumbling and, sometimes even crawling my path the last two years of the decade I was able to learn my deepest passion is to communicate in a major way. A gift revealed itself at the tender age of five when I started my first newspaper. The first headline read: “Young Gril (Girl) Finds $50”…. okay, I still cannot spell, but you get the point. If I had listened then….

• If you are going to ask the questions, be sure to listen for the answers.

How many times in my life was I presented with the answers, but I did not listen? Then, a hurried life is brought completely to a halt...so I could do nothing else but listen!

During this time I have been blessed to be able to walk along the beach in my beloved island sanctuary...and capture the moments of my retreat in such magnificience...i step into my purpose, my future, my path with great peace and the completeness of knowing I am who I was born to be....

the different ways in which needs can be satisfied...

"Besides the earth, man's principle resource is man himself. His intelligence enables him to discover the earth's productive potential and the many different ways in which needs can be satisfied." -- Pope John Paul II

in my dreams there is a banquet...and everybody i love, or ever have loved, or ever will love is there...and it is beautiful...and everyone is happy and there is enough food for each to have their fill...no one is hungry or in pain or sad...

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday...i love to get up early to bake the bread that has risen all night...and cook, and cook, and cook...pumpkin soup in tiny pumpkins i baked to the perfect golden glow...my turkey served with tiny ruffled shoes...homemade gravy and the inner parts turned into a feast for the animals...

this year is different...and i pray:

Lord, continue to fuel me with the desire to be productive...and understand the different ways in which needs can be satisfied...

pictorial essay...all photos taken this morning at sunrise...

for these i am thankful

natures' vignettes

a tiny feather in the sun

my great blue heron muse

a great splash photo

a chubby sanderling

a sunrise portrait session by the sea

rippled sand in the sun

surfers at dawn

pelicans flying low over waves

finding a perfect nautilus shell

a flock of sea gulls

colorful sea foam bubbles

haze over the ocean

watching a thanksgiving family photo session by the sea at sunrise

mostly i am thankful for the beautiful friendships i have found during the past 18 months...they have fueled my energy when i had none and filled my weary spirit with joy...you have given to me knowing that i had nothing to give in return... you know who you are and i hope you know how much i love you...and i say simply...

thanks

please read the post below about food banks and what they need this season...if you can help, please do...

Lord, help us find our way back...

My Sabbath Song today is about our world and the economic path we have taken the past few decades... and i pray...Lord, help us find our way back...

as i pursue my dreams i have often asked the Lord to guide me to my deeper purpose...and He has responded by leading, and sometimes dragging me kicking and screaming, into my deeper purpose...

"Most of the companies I admire in the world I think have a deeper purpose. I've met a lot of successful entrepreneurs. They all started their businesses not to maximize shareholder value but to pursue a dream." -John Mackey, CEO and founder of Whole Foods Market, Inc. in a Wall Street Journal interview

looking to increase shareholders gains seems to have enabled a few blinded by greed people to bring our economy and our very lifestyles to the brink of collapse...

"Over the past few years, there clearly has been an erosion in the country's financial values. This erosion has happened at a time when the country's cultural monitors were busy with other things. They were off fighting a cultural war about prayer in schools and the theory of evolution. They were arguing about sex and the separation of church and state, oblivious to the large erosion of economic values happening under their feet." -David Brooks, The New York Times

we can no longer do business as usual..nor should we look to the past to repair the present and the future...we must look for new ideas and new people to be the visionary leaders who will accompany us on our journey out of this darkness and despair...

"Select capable men from all the people...men/women who fear God, trustworthy men/women who hate dishonest gain." -Exodus 18:21

if we had not been trying so hard to negate and devalue our "one country under God" founding principle...perhaps we could have elected/followed/believed those capable, trustworthy individuals who hate dishonest gain and not have been led to this place we find ourselves in today...

yet i stand firm in belief that we will find those visionary leaders who are out there for everyone to see...

"My deepest vocation is to be a witness of the glimpses of God I have been allowed to catch." -Henri J.M. Nouwen

and we can catch a glimpse of them if we are open to the possibilities...

"There are people among us who are ethical, responsible and diligent. I hope your story encourages those who toil in obscurity to know that their reward is simple-- they will be ready when the test comes. We need to try to do the right thing every time, to perform our best because we never know what moment in our lives we'll be judged on." -US Airways Capt. Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger from a Wall Street Journal article by Jeffrey Zaslow

so i make a call to those of you who read my musings...to be open...and aware of those visionaries who touch your life and whose words resonate within your heart...

"In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teachings show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about you." -Titus 2:7-8

as i follow my path on this journey of my life i struggle to live by the words above...and of an old Irish prayer my Irish grandparents taught me...

"Three wishes I ask of the King when I part from my body: May I have nothing to confess, may I have no enemy, may I own nothing! Three wishes I ask this day of the King, ruler of suns: May I have no dignity or honours that lead me into torment! May I not work without reward before Christ! May God take my soul when it is most pure!"

all photography copyright rebecca e. parsons 2009

my morning meditation...

i wish to share with each of you the peace and the comfort i receive on my morning walk by the sea...it begins very early, sometimes it is still dark...at other times the sky is beginning to show the promise of a new day....as i continue to walk, prayerfully...meditatively the first glimpse of the sun is often as the top edges of the clouds above the horizon become tipped with the flames of the sun...this morning i was not alone as a beautiful, 4-foot tall great blue heron was feeding at the edge of the sea...
sometimes she poses for me..today she was skittish and flew south after a few photos...
i watched as her wings spread wide and she glided down the coast...i am blessed to have her near for even a short time...when i turned to walk again the sun was beginning it ascent preceded by rays reaching into the heavens...this is my favorite moment...just before the sun appears...
the the sky turns sienna and golden as the sun climbs above the clouds...and then...
it bursts forth...a brilliant white light in the golden sky...and her rays seek me over the ocean...
and i stand in silence as i feel the warmth touch me cheek...and thank God for the gift of a new day...
i soak in the scene so as to remember everything...i breathe in slowly the salty scents of the sea...and i am truly captivated...mesmerized...
it rises higher above the ocean...and the rays become more intense...and i smile...
the water covers my feet as i stand in awe at the beauty...the majesty of this special moment in time when i am alone with the sun and the sea...and my life is full of meaning and i understand why i am here...

for today is going to offer me a perfect chance to seek, then to study and experience the grandest answers...as i watch...listen, and before the end of this day, i will have a chance to be Divine...for someone is counting on me to be.

"When we settle in our hearts and minds that God's Word can be trusted, we solve a lot of problems in our lives." -Tony Evans, God Can Not be Trusted (and Five Other Lies of Satan)

the heron left behind a feather for me this morning...someday soon i will share the meaning of the feather...

ghosts and panic attacks do not make for a good night's sleep...

ghosts and panic attacks interrupted my sleep last night...yuk!!! at 1:50 am i awoke terrified, with a full-blown panic attack...have not had one for a long time now...then at 5:50 am, i was awake petting the dog, my kitchen light came on and went off...and the motion detector light came on...for some time now the light in my bathroom will turn on when nobody is in there...i joke about there being a ghost...is it a joke? or is it my guardian angel?

so i was on the beach by 6:30 this morning...it was still very dark and i walked in the light of the moon...my reflection on the wet sand beneath my feet...

6:30 am walk

the great blue heron was the only other being on the beach at this moment

i walked on in silent prayer...wanting some comfort...and i remember...when life seems to be 'falling apart' things could actually be 'falling together'...

i keep reminding myself that i am safe, and my situation is under the perfect control of Divine providence and universal order...i try to only infuse loving thoughts and emotions into the situation to ensure that the highest possible outcome flows effortlessly to and through me...adapted from Dorren Virtue

the sunrise

how big you 'perceive' a problem to be may be actually BE the problem...

When fear comes, expect the opposite...faith to rise up. When symptoms attack your body, expect the opposite-God's healing power. When sadness attaches itself to you, expect the opposite-joy to flood your being. When lack comes in, expect the opposite-God's provision. When confusion comes, expect the opposite-God's peace. When darkness covers you, expect the opposite-God's light on you. -Martin Riding

the heron on my way back down the beach...my companion in the first light of day

"In the words of an old Irish prayer: Three wishes I ask of the King when I part from my body: May I have nothing to confess, may I have no enemy, may I own nothing! Three wishes I ask this day of the King, ruler of suns: May I have no dignity or honours that lead me into torment! May I not work without reward before Christ! May God take my soul when it is most pure!" -Sacred Space

a surprise when i looked at my pictures

i had captured a dragonfly purely by Divine accident

a gift to remind me that even when i feel alone...i am not alone...

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i am expecting a miracle...

i joined the FUN-ellenge with Heather Picken

join us here:

http://summitforwomen.ning.com/page/i-create-miracles-funellenge