Sunday, July 29, 2007

Oh Lord, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Muse Syrjässä is very aloof...very reserved and reticent...she keeps you at a distance...although not indifferent or disinterested she may appear that way because of shyness...she has been described as cool, detached; distant, standoffish; snobbish, haughty, disdainful...none of which is true...she is just misread...

Have you ever been misunderstood... been guilty of poor communication... left off a key word from your blog message or comment...been judged harshly by someone who read a false motive into something you said or did?

When I first started e-mailing, I joined a list-serve stenciling group...one of the first posts I made...in response to an other's post about how many faux finishes she knew...I wrote, "I have forgotten more than that number"...I was trying to be funny about how old I was and how long I had been doing finishes...she thought I was insulting her knowledge and ability...Oh My...Luckily she is a beautifully forgiving person...and after a few mea culpa e-mails...the incident was dropped...and she is a dear friend to this day...but I learned that what I write can be taken many different ways than intended...

Sometimes, like the above, misunderstandings can be cleared up through fuller and better information...at other times, the person who misjudged a situation catches on, feels foolish, and takes the initiative to repair it...sometimes there is nothing that can be done...except try to go on with your life...hopefully without bitterness and/or regret...

Blogging and e-mail is a powerful and convenient medium...a way of moving words throughout the world in a mater of seconds...and once the send/publish button is pressed...reaction is out of our control...why do problems arise?

Researchers have identified three major problems...First and foremost, posts lack visual/auditory cues to a person's facial expression or tone of voice...that makes it difficult for recipients to decode meaning well... Second, the prospect of instantaneous communication creates an urgency that pressures us to think and write quickly...which can lead to carelessness...Finally, the inability to develop personal rapport over the Internet makes relationships fragile in the face of conflict.

Sarcasm and witty comments are the most often misunderstood for me...I think that everyone has the same dry sense of humor as I do...until something goes awry...and I am reminded that I have a different paradigm...I have learned that posts cannot always adequately convey emotion...so I try to be careful...but I know that I will be misunderstood again...

Today's aMUSEment - is there someone in your life that you have had a misunderstanding with? think about contacting them or forgiving them...forgiveness is for the forgiver not the forgiven...forgiving will free you from the pain that comes from holding on to resentment, bitterness, and hatred...

I offer you this exercise in forgiveness from enotalone.com. With your hand on your heart, take a deep breath and affirm:

I completely forgive myself for taking on this particular situation. (Name it.) I know I was only doing the best I could at the time. If I was in another state of mind, or if I had more information, I may have acted differently. (As you are ready…) I ask God/Spirit to help me reach the place of forgiveness for myself and for anyone involved in this situation.. I realize they were only doing the best they could also. I love and accept myself with all of my problems and perceived limitations. I don't need this (name negative emotion) any longer. I am now able to replace it with (positive emotion).

find several articles on forgiveness here...
a good article on this miscommunication can be found here...

U Be Creative Today!!!

3 comments:

Angela said...

I can definately relate! I know each day whenever I speak SOMETHING I say will not be understood. Inspiring post!

Blue said...

Misunderstandings in any form suck. I think the reciever of the information plays a large role, depending on what mood they are in. Happy mood=Well recieved comments
Bad mood=Misunderstood comment

xo
Blue

LisaOceandreamer said...

My comment got so long I deleted it....I will be more succinct and say I absolutely agree that without tone and expression words CAN be misunderstood. (regardless of actual intent).
XO

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