I understand that I cannot open a door God has closed…yet I have been wrestling/fighting/tugging, even to the point of laying prostrate in the way of, trying to keep a door open that God has already closed…tightly. This is what I have been doing for more than a year now. Do you think perhaps it is time for a dose of acceptance?
Oh boy this has been a hard life lesson to learn. It is not that I am pig-headed, although some might disagree. It is that I so desperately want to keep that door open that I would endure any amount of pain in order to do so. I have cajoled/begged/cried buckets of tears and still that door remains closed to me. Permanently!
Why has it been so hard for me to move on? This is a question not easily answered without a lot of inward reflection and prayer…and much suffering.
I am not by nature a quitter… am I quitting if I accept? Acceptance means the act of accepting or receiving; approval; state of accepting or believing in something. Steve Pavlina says, “Acceptance means that you perceive reality accurately and consciously acknowledge what you perceive.”
Well there’s the rub…do I perceive reality accurately?
At this point in time I am unsure of that…but I do believe that acceptance ‘opens the door’ to change…it allows me to be okay right now, before I get through this transition. Truly when one door closes another opens…
I am beginning to see the possibilities that I was blind to before acceptance started to creep into my psyche. I am finding that acceptance is the very first step on a long journey into the unknown…. once I am on the other side of that closed door for good…
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