My beautiful friend Carmen wrote a very wise post in November... I encourage you to read it...so click here ...it is worth the time...
She writes:
"We bloggers love to be creative, to be hopeful. In order for this I think You have to be an astute observer and sometimes save your words and reactions, yes, I say reactions, not actions.
You have to know when negativity wants to affect you. Negativity is not neccesarily coming from a person, like a boss, family, friend or anyone else. The majority of the times, It is our own thoughts provoking negativity. I have no doubt there are negative or stubborn people who wants to bring you down in order for them to feel good. Please don't allowed them to have power over you. I no longer suffer trying to please a negative person in order to be loved or being recognized. I am content I did what I could. If it didn't work, not my problem anymore if that person wish to go down in that way is that person's loss.
Can I tell you a secret? That person is suffering and needs you not to react. Eventually, that person will come into your life again, hopefully as a new person. Have faith."
Have Faith...i have needed large amounts of faith recently...i have been so inundated with work and learning how to live with a loved one who is having a major depressive episode...that i have neglected my blogs...and my readers...i know you understand, but it has been on my mind...
i have been overwhelmed with the responses to my writing about the mental illness called depression...many of you have thanked me for having the courage to write about it...it is not courageous of me, dialog is necessary to take the stigma away...these are not bad people, they are sick people...whose disease is scary and frightening to witness...and even more so to live...
UPDATE>>watching someone you love fall into the deep pit of depression (major clinical depression) is a scary and frustrating experience...and you feel totally helpless...the burden on both of us is tremendous...the disease becomes the center of attention...you want him to snap himself out of it...to get up and smile, and stop being negative...but he cannot...
when he has an anxiety attack, his face literally changes...his eyes bug out, his lips disappear into his mouth, he tugs at his face...and it is frightening to witness...no amount of love or caring can reach him...he is deep down inside himself, dwelling on something or everything...it is the disease...the depression lying to him...the depression stealing his life...it is not reality, yet it is 'his' reality...
yet i have expectations...that the medication will work...that the episodes will lessen their wicked hold on him...that he will return to his normal self soon...the negativity that is his world right now will dissipate...today they are just that...expectations...
on the upside of my life...the magazine is scheduled for the presses next week...the catalog and the newsletter are printed and mailed...
this week i am working on handouts and a demo i am doing at the creative palette convention in st. marys, georgia next weekend...my class is first on this page...expectations abound...
I NEED YOUR HELP!!!...any suggestions would be more than welcome...i have to give a 10-minute demo about 5 times...and i have to have some sort of goodie bag for the 50 participants...and i am at a loss about what to do and give...Yes...Miss Cre8Tiva herself is blocked...this seemed like a great idea back in september of last year when i agreed to do it...i am 'expecting' to come up with something fantastic and memorable...and i have 5 days to do it...expecting too much??? perhaps...i am fragile right now too...
yet i have been able to make some art during this time...i will share twiggie and sprig soon...i also owe so many of you a big thank you...i will do that this week also...i was in atlanta this week to see may daughter try on wedding gowns...to visit my doctor...and do some other errands...i did not have internet access as my laptop is still sick and the hotel internet was iffy at best...so i will be catching up with you all too... i am still counting my blessings...
i forgot to remember valentine's day...it is one of my favorite holidays...i am sad...here's my treat for you...
Don't forget to visit my other blog, The Artist as a Spiritual Explorer click here...
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24 comments:
Rebecca,
SO glad you dropped by...we have missed seeing you too, but know you are dealing with many difficult issues, and have your work plate loaded. Hopefully today is beautiful and sunny, both inside and out!
blessings,
kari & kijsa
Rebecca:
Glad to see you back at your blog. Depression is such a hard thing to deal with. I find myself falling into it, although not as deeply as you explain in your blog. I am OCD and have nocturnal panic attacks. I am, right now, medicine free and doing fairly good.
Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by my blog today. Your opinion on my business name change means a lot to me.
Kim
Garden Painter Art
Carmen is a kind and wise mermaid -I'm so thrilled to see her words repeated here - I love her blog.
Wishing you a belated but heartfelt Happy Valentine's Day, Rebecca. Your plate has really been full. I hope you can go easy on yourself.
As for ideas for a goody bag, there is a site, that I just saw mentioned on another blog - I think it was called 'The Sampler' - where indie artists share samples of their work, I think...but perhaps you might find some ideas there.
Wishing you peace of mind and heart~xo
Here is the url for the sampler site:
http://www.homeofthesampler.com/
Hope you find it helpful.
Blessings to you~xo
I read Carmen's post.. thank you for sharing it!
I've suffered from clinical depression and it is (mostly) under control now. A trusted friend once told me I "didn't have to accept [the depression]." He was right but, oh, did it take a long time to get there. My heart goes out to both of you.
Please let me know if I can contribute something to your goodie bags... I have some mini owl buttons and can make transfers...
I shall go have a read of the link now...thank you!
And thank you for the treats Rebecca!
Happy Belated Valentine's day to you!
xoxo
Gillian
i am so glad to see you back! don't ever worry...those who read you understand your absence & hold you in their hearts.
i have pondered a moment about what you are asking for your presentation/goodie bag. the only thing that came to mind was possibly discussing your creative blogging daily journey from last october...what you learned from that & how you did what you did each day.
goodies for the bag...i'm thinking chocolate, but maybe that's just my lenten chocolate-deprived mind obsessing again!
Rebecca,
Sounds like you have so much going on. Don't you just wish your outlook and joy could spread on to other people just like that? Depression is no fun. I've seen it and I've seen it disappear. I wish you the best w/ that situation.
As for your other blog, I will pop into it next. Thanks for sharing!
~Scarlet Rose~
Hi Rebecca! hope you are doing well! 50 goodie bags is a LOT! hmmm...Dollar tree would be costing you too...cuz I was gonna suggest that.
Hi Rebecca! Oh, i really have missed you so! You know that I have great respect for women who can STOP blogging for a while to live a life! I know you are doing what must be done and understand completely when friends can't visit constantly! I know I can't always visit but my friends are never far from my thoughts.
You are dealing with tough issues and I pray you will continue to find strength and blessing in your life in spite of the difficulties,
Melissa
Hi Rebecca! Oh, i really have missed you so! You know that I have great respect for women who can STOP blogging for a while to live a life! I know you are doing what must be done and understand completely when friends can't visit constantly! I know I can't always visit but my friends are never far from my thoughts.
You are dealing with tough issues and I pray you will continue to find strength and blessing in your life in spite of the difficulties,
Melissa
It is at these times especially when I wish with all my heart that we were not separated by the whole of this country. You one one coast, I on another. It is at these times especially when I wish with all my heart that I could merely reach through the screen to hug you. I would sit and help you fill bags, and talk and make you laugh and LISTEN, really LISTEN. The fact that you manage to meet deadlines and do demos and your own art as well,is a testament to your strength...that indomitable Rebecca spirit within you. I am in awe. This is what will see you through, this will be the light that will help you through the darkness of this time with your loved one....that and your ability to still have faith. Of this I am sure.
As for your goodie bags...I'm at a complete loss for ideas at the moment.
I've missed you - but I know your heart is always here to "feel" even when new words aren't on the screen.
Love,
Lisa
Aloha Rebecca,
Im not wise enough to advise anyone about anyhting, but I can offer an ear to listen to you and a hug when needed,
Peace, Kai xx
I understand all too well where you are coming from Rebecca. When those that are close to you have a mental illness it is VERY VERY HARD to cope. I know that it is for me. VERY SCARY SITUATION to be in. You are in my thoughts and prayers. :) *HUGS*
Angela
Rebecca, dear heart - I think of you every day as I pass by your painting. And I pray that God attends to you and whatever needs you may have. Faith is hard to grasp but keep reaching honey. Once you have it, it's hard to lose.
Love,
Julie
Sending out love and blessings to you and yours. Sending you creative inspiration too!!
xox
Constance
ps I agree with Carmen!!
In my email on Saturday I explained you that I was feeling a little shy about me being mentioned here in your wonderful blog. I am very happy and honoured that you enjoyed that post as well, also I am happy to know that I could write that meaningful post to me and now to you, and I am glad it touched you and is helping you too somehow.
Please know that I am thankful for your lovely friendship and very happy that we crossed paths and we are friends, yay!!!
Have faith and hope, you are loved and aren't alone at all.
I am so happy to be part of your creative world!
Count with my good thoughts and sincere prayers always!
Light and love, Carmen
I think at times that adversity is a strong point for creativity ... it can be both a blessing and a curse... sometimes knocking you for a loop so bad you cant function and at other times...your creativity just flows...
I find so much strength just reading your story...
And to know that you have been able to do some painting and continue working is beyond amazing...
You are gracious and honest and forthcoming in dealing with a tough situation...
I wish I could think of some suggestions for your goodie bag... it might help to know a general idea ofthe subject or what you are looking for
HUGS
JO
Dearest Rebecca, you have been dealing with so much all at once! You and your loved one are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sure your workshop will go well. xoxox
Dear Rebecca, I've been reading and catching up with you. I know very well the difficulties you are going through. My husband fell into a deep clinical depression years ago and it took meds, counseling, a total absense of anything extraneous in his life and two years of work for him to dig himself out. But dig himself out he did, and he is much better for it. My prayers are with you. Every thought is a prayer. Annie
Happy to see you posting again Rebecca. As others said, you deserve so much credit for accomplishing all you have while dealing with a weighty situation. I'm going to the link you offered now.
Darla
Dear Sister Cre8tiva,
As the truly unimaginative one in the family, Miss Brown and Tan, maybe you could do your presentations on wedding decorations. I'm sure you could come up with many spectacular ideas.
Love You!
THANK YOU FOREVER!!!
HUGS
Rebecca,I don't know how I found your blog but I'm glad I did you are a very talented lady and deserve to go far with your work!I do understand how hard it is trying to cope with and help someone with depression, so We are sending you a (((HUG)))) from us and pray that you draw strenth from all your friends in bloggland!Love from Kathyann and the girls at meg's mum's muffins
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