Sunday, October 11, 2009

ghosts and panic attacks do not make for a good night's sleep...

ghosts and panic attacks interrupted my sleep last night...yuk!!! at 1:50 am i awoke terrified, with a full-blown panic attack...have not had one for a long time now...then at 5:50 am, i was awake petting the dog, my kitchen light came on and went off...and the motion detector light came on...for some time now the light in my bathroom will turn on when nobody is in there...i joke about there being a ghost...is it a joke? or is it my guardian angel?

so i was on the beach by 6:30 this morning...it was still very dark and i walked in the light of the moon...my reflection on the wet sand beneath my feet...


6:30 am walk

the great blue heron was the only other being on the beach at this moment

i walked on in silent prayer...wanting some comfort...and i remember...when life seems to be 'falling apart' things could actually be 'falling together'...

i keep reminding myself that i am safe, and my situation is under the perfect control of Divine providence and universal order...i try to only infuse loving thoughts and emotions into the situation to ensure that the highest possible outcome flows effortlessly to and through me...adapted from Dorren Virtue

the sunrise

how big you 'perceive' a problem to be may be actually BE the problem...

When fear comes, expect the opposite...faith to rise up. When symptoms attack your body, expect the opposite-God's healing power. When sadness attaches itself to you, expect the opposite-joy to flood your being. When lack comes in, expect the opposite-God's provision. When confusion comes, expect the opposite-God's peace. When darkness covers you, expect the opposite-God's light on you. -Martin Riding
the heron on my way back down the beach...my companion in the first light of day

"In the words of an old Irish prayer: Three wishes I ask of the King when I part from my body: May I have nothing to confess, may I have no enemy, may I own nothing! Three wishes I ask this day of the King, ruler of suns: May I have no dignity or honours that lead me into torment! May I not work without reward before Christ! May God take my soul when it is most pure!" -Sacred Space
a surprise when i looked at my pictures
i had captured a dragonfly purely by Divine accident

a gift to remind me that even when i feel alone...i am not alone...
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i am expecting a miracle...


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3 comments:

Rebecca said...

I am praying for you that you will be lifted up in your faith and richly rewarded! God is good. When we fully rely on Him, amazing things happen. My sweet hubby and I are there now and every day is a question mark but I know God is good and in control! His blessings abound when we trust.

qualcosa di bello said...

i vote for your guardian angel! i used to have panic attacks after my parents died. a good friend who is also a monk told me to pray the name Jesus until the calm returned. it has always worked...& remember that so many friends are praying for you everyday! hugs from the beach north of you :-)

one day i want to walk the sunrise with you on your beach. that green color you captured in the first pic is just wow!!!

Kladde said...

Just visited your site.

Nice and clean one.

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