a changed soul...

all photos were taken on amelia island before 7AM this morning click on them to enlarge...

this month has been my epiphany...a shift in consciousness...a sudden realization and comprehension of the essence or meaning of my life as it is today...i discovered a few pieces of the puzzle and now am beginning to see the whole picture of my life experience take shape...

several things happened this month which helped me reframe my attitude and thoughts about this transitional period of my life... all of which came together to illuminate a deeper foundational frame of reference for me...

1. i hit bottom
2. my meditation of June 12 was Proverbs 13:12 "hope deferred makes the heart sick"... 
   
3.  Joyce Meyer - The Hope of Seeing Change
   
4.  Oprah show - The Secret Behind The Secret
   
5. Eckart Tolle's book - A New Earth
   
6. Marianne Williamson's A Course in Miracles day 162, I am as God created me.
   
7. To enjoy something it doesn’t mean you have to own it forever. — Letter Never Sent Blog

how did these events change me?

• i will not bore you with the icky details, but know that everything came together and formed a confluence of emotions that erupted within my soul and layed me low...i had feelings of lack...i 'felt' hopeless...
  

• "hope deferred makes the heart sick"...DUH!!!! this passage jolted my spirit into a new place...it has remained with me all week...i had chosen to defer, perhaps abandon, hope in my life..feeling hopeless is abandoning my faith....and living without hope had made my heart sick and, even worse, made me feel like a victim...the pity party has ended...i have taken the spiritual lesson that being a victim teaches...and i am stepping into and reclaiming  my power as a strong woman learning a perfect and necessary life lesson...

• on June 11-12 Joyce Meyer's lecture was on "The Hope of Seeing Change." i learned to see that my feeling of lack of hope was simply not trusting God...i was expecting nothing and getting just that…i was afraid to answer the phone or get the mail because i was believing that they brought bad news...as a result of listening to Joyce i stopped my stinkin' thinkin' attitude ...God has asked me to lay all this aside so He can do something 'within' me so He can do something 'through' me in the future...i need to stop being discouraged and wait with joyful anticipation to what is coming in my life... perhaps writing this will help someone else overcome adversity or sadness...

• i became resolved to not give up on myself, and renew my hopeful attitude...i decided to become a prisoner of hope...i am putting the negativity behind me...and am learning to be content with my circumstances...it is not my circumstance that steals my joy, it is my 'attitude' toward my circumstances that steals my joy...i can be happy where i am right now...if i will only believe! i am renewed and reenergized because i am not going to give up on the blessings God has for me in the future...i am resolved to enjoy the journey i am on today.... you can download her show and listen or watch

• on June 12 there was a repeat of Oprah's Go Beyond the Secret show... i have seen this show before but it had a much different impact on me this time...Louise Hay "You Can Heal Your Life"— believes things happen for a reason. "Life had something in store for him, but he wouldn't let go," she says. "So it took it away from him."...this so mirrors my life at this moment...Louise says that whatever you put into the universe—be it good or bad—will come back to you. "That's why I like to teach people to love themselves, just to love and adore who you are."

• Martha Beck " Finding Your Own North Star" & "Steering by Starlight"— said that when you set an intention in the shallows (a place of fear or desperation) you will not receive the desired result...you may get 'a' result, but not the 'best' result....you have let go of the desperation and come from a place of peace to get the desired result...and you must have a heart of expectancy.... "The classic example is King Midas. He thought he wanted everything he touched to turn to gold. Turns out that his wife and his child and his bed all became metal, so his core of peace didn't want that at all," Martha says. "It's meant to teach us not to grasp for things in the shallows because if they come true from there, they're not good for us. In his core of peace, what [Midas] wanted was love and that, if he'd gone there and made a list, he would have had love and gold and everything." 

• Cheryl Richardson-"The Unmistakable Touch of Grace" — said focusing on a goal and keeping it in mind regularly helps it happen. "Life is about more than SUVs and nice jeans." You need to chart your own spiritual evolution. 

Creating a vision board will help you focus. Waiting for stuff to magically manifest in your life will not work. Louise says a vision board can be a very effective tool. "It helps you to focus your thinking on what you want," she says. "When you do that, it's like the universe gives you ideas [on how to get it]."

Martha says she sees two reasons the vision board works—selective attention and quantum physics. "If you repeat the word, 'blue, blue, blue,' and you start looking around the room, all the blue things will start popping out," she says. "Part of it is quantum physics. We know now, scientifically, that consciousness brings matter into being where there was energy. So it's not even necessarily that it draws it toward you. The conclusion is you're literally creating some of this stuff."

Cheryl says the vision board's power also comes from the simple fact that it allows people time to focus and do something about their lives. "People say to me, 'Oh, I don't know about this law of attraction. I don't know if it really works.' I say to them, 'So, what have you done lately to test it?' 'Oh, well, I think about what I want,'" she says. "That's not good enough. You need to take specific action—make a list, do a vision board, start speaking what it is you want."

one of the biggest "Ah-Ha" moments for me is when Louise said, "Sometimes when things don't work, there's somebody you need to forgive," she says. "Any bitterness that we have in us can just stop the whole process. So we need to look around and say, 'All right, who do I need to forgive?' There's always somebody. "Forgiveness, however, does not mean you need to befriend the person who hurt you. You don't even have to condone their behavior," Louise says. "It's just that you let the whole thing go; you separate yourself from the experience."

another biggie for me was when Cheryl said that even though feeling like a victim is often looked down upon, it is simply a step in a spiritual journey. "Very often, it's when we feel the most like a victim that we are on the precipice of a catalyst for change," she says. Some victims may get stuck, but the possibility of change is there for them when they are ready. "When you're feeling like a victim, you are so close to being able to step over the line and reclaim the spiritual power that you have."  Martha says there are genuine victims, victimization has a boomerang effect. "The more victimized you were, the more powerful you become."

Summer School on Oprah.com - Get ready to be awakened! Sign up for Oprah and Eckart Tolle's exclusive online classes...this book and the discussion sessions have been life changing for me...and they came at the perfect moment in my life...the abundance section really hit home..."if the thought of lack ha become part of who i think i am, then i will ALWAYS experience lack"...abundance comes when you realize that you have always had it...how you react to challenges is a clear indication of your level of consciousness or lack of it...

Every day, Marianne Williamson takes you through one of 365 lessons of A Course of Miricles. this lesson-I am as God created me-helped me to accept today and what it brings to me as perfect... "As we exist today, an aging body reflects the heaviness of our pained and worried thoughts. As we begin to travel more lightly within the body, and our minds give up our constant preoccupation with body thoughts, aging becomes a different experience." — Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles  

"To enjoy something it doesn’t mean you have to own it forever." while i was searching for ways to accept the simplification of my life that is going on right now, i ran across this statement...it is helping me let go gracefully...and with joy in knowing that someone else will have the opportunity to enjoy the things i am letting go of...a higher purpose indeed...

Choosing to breathe through the negative things that happen...choosing to look at everything that happens as perfect because it has it necessary place and function in the universe...choosing to come from a place of peace...gives me a glimpse of the mystery of life...the unfolding of higher order and purpose...

a large life challenge is an invitation to higher consciousness or higher order...boy did i receive an engraved invitation this year...i have been acting as the small, unconscious me because my ego thinks it needs all these things to exist...i need to be fully  aware of my emotions, the strong egoic emotions, that i have thus far allowed to run my life...the more i see them a just the 'feelings' of my inflated ego, the sooner i can begin to live more consciously...

i have abundance...me, rebecca, has abundance right now...in this very instant...on reflection i have a smile, an ear to listen, a heart to love, praise, appreciation, assistance, loving care, hugs, respect, attention, time and much more in abundance...these flow through me outward into the universe...the resultant energy flows back to me also...the growth this has brought coupled with the wisdom garnered, contributed to the creation of  my life's mission statement while journaling this week — 

HOPE—GRATITUDE—VISION

To have HOPE keeps my heart alive...to be GRATEFUL for what i have feeds my soul...to have VISION gives me clarity...

I have HOPE for God's plan for me...
          I have GRATITUDE for ALL my life lessons...
                    I have VISION of a super, fulfilling and joy filled future...

For clarity and comfort as I move forward, I pray: "Never let someone else determine God's will for your life. No one else can understand God's unique call on your life as clearly as you can." —Ray Pritchard, "Leadership Lessons of Jesus: A Timeless Model for Today's Leaders"

i am feeling the connection to the higher order... knowing that every event in my life has been and will continue to be perfect and necessary and at its appropriate time...this has released a pure joy within me...i embrace the situation i find myself in now, even the grief and sadness, because i know it is necessary and perfect...my heart is full...i see God's hand at work and i marvel...i am finally at peace with my being, without knowing exactly why..."and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,..." Phil 4:7 ....i can hardly wait for what is in store for me...

...the journey continues...

Don't forget to visit my other blog, The Artist as a Spiritual Explorer click here...